How long has it been?

As 2019 draws to a close, I have been thinking about how I feel about the new year. Last year I was absolutely broken at this time. The thought I maybe heading into a new year that Raj wasn’t to be a part of of was soul destroying. Now? Its become more of wow, how long has it been since Raj passed or before and after Raj.

Im lost and torn between my life with Raj and the life I live now. I want the old me back, the old times Raj was part of to be reality again. I dont have alot to write this blog other than to just say thank you to all those who follow and read my words. Thankyou to my friends and close family who choose to still talk to me about Raj. Thankyou to those who dont act like it didnt happen. Thankyou to those who acknowledge that Raj is still the hugest part of my life and always will be. We have a bond that can never be broken or forgotten. Thankyou for acknowleding that.

Mostly, thankyou to my husband. I don’t know how he does it if im honest. I am such a broken soul and he manages to not only love me but holds all my broken pieces together. He never asks me to move on, but remembers and talks about Raj just like me. He makes Raj a part of our conversations, jokes and giggles. He truly is my best friend.

I hope 2020 brings everyone love, and good health. Love is the key to life. Love a little harder in 2020 and hug your friends and family more. Time is the most special gift we have.

Hugs, love and best wishes.

Raj’s mum 💚

Author: mummyandraj

Im Suki, mummy to Raj who is forever 8. This is somewhere for me to share all the things that came with my son having a cancer diagnosis at 2 years old and life thereafter.

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